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How to talk to someone about their eating disorder
Be careful to avoid critical or accusatory statements, as this will only bring out your friend’s or family member’s defenses. Instead, focus on the specific behaviors that worry you.
· Focus on feelings and relationships, not on weight and food. Share your memories of specific times when you felt concerned about the person’s eating behavior. Explain that you think these things may indicate that there could be a problem that needs professional help.
· Tell them you are concerned about their health, but respect their privacy. Eating disorders are often a cry for help, and the individual will appreciate knowing that you are concerned.
· Do not comment on how they look. The person is already too aware of their body. Even if you are trying to compliment them, comments about weight or appearance only reinforce their obsession with body image and weight.
· Make sure you do not convey any fat prejudice, or reinforce their desire to be thin. If they say they feel fat or want to lose weight, don’t say “You’re not fat.” Instead, suggest they explore their fears about being fat, and what they think they can achieve by being thin.
· Avoid power struggles about eating. Do not demand that they change. Do not criticize their eating habits. People with eating disorders are trying to be in control. They don’t feel in control of their life. Trying to trick or force them to eat can make things worse.
. Avoid placing shame, blame, or guilt on the person regarding their actions or attitudes. Do not use accusatory “you” statements like, “You just need to eat.” Or, “You are acting irresponsibly.” Instead, use “I” statements. For example: “I’m concerned about you because you refuse to eat breakfast or lunch.” Or, “It makes me afraid to hear you vomiting.”
· Avoid giving simple solutions. For example, “If you’d just stop, then everything would be fine!”
Source: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eating_disorder_self_help.htm
![ed-owl:
[Image description: owl with eye-glass on alternating pink, white and orange background. Above text reads “Giving your friends advice about eating.”. Bottom text reads “Yet can’t take own advice.” End description.]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6yz1kALpZ1ra7lt9o1_400.jpg)
[Image description: owl with eye-glass on alternating pink, white and orange background. Above text reads “Giving your friends advice about eating.”. Bottom text reads “Yet can’t take own advice.” End description.]
(Source: numquam-secunda)
“
Sometimes perfection can be perfect hell.
- Jack’s Mannequin (Bruised)
(Source: danielerrkidd)
“
It is a grave injustice to a child or adult to insist that they stop crying. One can comfort a person who is crying which enables him to relax and makes further crying unnecessary; but to humiliate a crying child is to increase his pain, and augment his rigidity. We stop other people from crying because we cannot stand the sounds and movements of their bodies. It threatens our own rigidity. It induces similar feelings in ourselves which we dare not express and it evokes a resonance in our own bodies which we resist.
WHEN I GET OVERCONFIDENT AND DECIDE THAT I’M NOT GOING TO FOLLOW MY MEAL PLAN
: The stigma surrounding mental health.
I read this post by hotasshannah this morning and it really made me think, once again, about the stigma surrounding mental health.
I’ve made it one of my life goals to raise as much awareness about mental health as I can. As a sufferer of various mental disorders, I want to make a positive change for everybody who suffers from a mental illness or an addiction. To me, one of the most important and positive changes that could be made would be to influence society’s view on the reality of mental health.
I’ve said this before on my other blog, but so often I hear the following phrases and it makes me want to smash people’s heads into a window:
- “Why don’t you just try to be a little happier?” (to somebody with depression)
- “Why don’t you just eat something?” (to somebody with anorexia)
- “Why don’t you just not drink alcohol?” (to somebody with an alcohol addiction)
- “Why don’t you just not cut yourself?” (to somebody who self harms)
Often, these suggestions are proposed in a well-meaning manner, but then you get the less-than-well-meaning morons who make ridiculous assumptions like this:
- “You cut; therefore you are a pathetic emo pre-teen.”
- “You are anorexic; therefore you are vain and self-centred.”
- “You are fat; therefore you cannot have an eating disorder.”
- “You are an addict; therefore you are a criminal drug lord.”
The problem is that people do not understand. We can get angry and pissed off about this all we like, but it won’t change things (though that isn’t to say that you’re not allowed to get angry and pissed off). The only way that change can be implemented is if we educate people.
Before you rant to me about the futility of trying to ‘change the world’, hear me out.
I had somebody say to me recently that I got too upset about issues and needed to back down a bit. After all, she told me, I’m just one person: how am I supposed to make any change in the world?
I got very upset about this. If everybody said this - ‘I’m just one person’ - then how would change ever happen? All successful charities and organizations began with one person or a small group of people. What makes these groups successful and turns them into powerful paragons of change is a common goal amongst strangers. These groups start off as a tiny voice and blossom into powerful organizations whose supporters are complete strangers united by a desire to change the world.
Think about it: there are 7 billion people in the world. In 2001, the World Health Organization estimated that there were over 450 million people in the world suffering from some form of mental health problem at that time.
That’s over 450 million voices.
If 450 million voices can’t make a difference, what can?
By making a difference, I don’t mean changing society’s view on mental health overnight. Little things like the following can build up to make a very big impact:
- Tell your family and friends a little bit about your mental health issues and explain to them what these disorders really consist of. You don’t have to go into any great detail but, as the saying goes, change begins with you.
- Start a website or a blog dedicated to informing people about mental health and what they can do to help raise awareness too.
- Take part in Mental Health Awareness Week or World Mental Health Day(or any other awareness-raising event) by letting people know about any events related to these or by wearing.
- Run a race (or some other challenge) and have people sponsor you to fundraise for your favourite mental health charity or organization. People won’t sponsor you for something that they don’t understand, so this is an opportunity for you to educate them!
- Wear merchandise (eg. wristbands or ribbons) that represent your favourite charities. Another option is handing out leaflets for certain charities or putting up posters.
The following are my favourite mental health charities. They have all been helpful to me at one point or another, either through their online information or their support services. These links will take you to their pages about raising both awareness and funds:
- SANE (mental health awareness and support service)
- Mind (mental health awareness and support service)
- Samaritans (mental health and crisis support service)
- YoungMinds (mental health awareness and support service for children and adolescents)
- B-eat (eating disorder awareness and support service)
Making a difference doesn’t always involve giving away money or doing something drastic. Research your favourite charities in your country and see what you can do to help.
Change the world today.
(Source: wildeyedsoul)
Why Cultivating A Positive Body Image Matters
Because we cannot love others, help others, or support others if we hate ourselves. Because we cannot achieve to our fullest, realize our dreams, or conquer our fears if we hate ourselves. Because we cannot change who we are, grow stronger, or realize our potential if we hate ourselves. Because we cannot thrive and blossom if we hate ourselves. And hating ourselves includes hating our bodies. Our bodies are integral to our selves.
Because the world is full of messages about “good” and “bad” bodies. Because we are told that a certain weight, a certain set of proportions, a certain body type or shape will unlock happiness, and that we should do everything in our power to achieve those things. Because there are forces and industries that benefit when we hate our bodies. Because we should fight against anything that tells us we must conform or live in misery, that if we don’t conform we should hate ourselves. And hating ourselves includes hating our bodies. Our bodies are integral to our selves.
Because happiness is difficult in so many ways, and becomes even more so if we lunge at it from a place of self-loathing. Because understanding ourselves, loving others, and changing the world can seem utterly impossible if we linger in a place of self-loathing. Because many of the most rewarding experiences in life feel just beyond reach when we hate ourselves. And hating ourselves includes hating our bodies. Our bodies are integral to our selves.
Learning to love your body may seem small or selfish or pointless at times, especially when compared to fighting for larger causes and reaching out to help others. But to fashion yourself into a powerful, effective, whole being, you’ve got to come at life from a place of strength. Your body is your home. If you hate your home – if you flee from it, disrespect it, and wish it were fundamentally different – your strength will be diminished. Whether you want to help others or simply find your way to happiness in your own life, loving yourself is absolutely vital.
And loving yourself includes loving your body. Your body is integral to your self.
Submission by http://recovering-anorexic.tumblr.com/
Edit by Nikki
Don’t wait until you’ve reached a goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud for every step you make in the right direction.
(Source: motivationforfitness)
FIRST TIME I WALKED INTO THE TREATMENT CENTER, I WAS LIKE
HOW I LOOK PRE-TREATMENT
WHEN I’M AROUND PEOPLE WHO DON’T KNOW THAT I HAVE AN ED AND THEY MAKE ED JOKES
